Most days come and go, but some have a more lasting impact than others. Birthdays, deaths, anniversary's of all kinds, milestones. They stir emotions of love, joy, sadness, pride, etc. As weeks, months and years pass, some of these specific dates have a way of remaining with us. Sometimes the emotions associated with a given date evolve, sometimes they don't. Personally, one of my dates is December 2nd, 2008. It's the date we handed Savannah over for open heart surgery to repair her Congenital Heart Defect, Tetralogy of Fallot (TOF).
It's been eight years since that day. Eight years since her chest was cut open and her heart was touched by human hands. When I reflect on this dates, I can recall in great detail everything that took place...I can "see" the day vividly.
Fast forward eight years and I find myself gazing at my one and only girl. 12/2/08 is etched in my mind and I will forever remember those long eight hours of waiting and waiting and waiting.
Despite being told it would likely be her only surgery, I think I knew even then there would be more surgeries. I can't explain it - just mothers intuition I suppose. I was right. At the age of six, we learned that Savannah had developed Pulmonary Valve Regurgitation - PVR - as a result of her initial surgery. The TOF is resolved, but the development of the PVR is a side effect in approximately 30% of all TOF cases. In English, Savannah has constant "backwash" into her right ventricle. Over time, if left untreated, the pressure of the backwash causes the right ventricle to become a solid muscle, which can lean to sudden heart failure. PVR means additional open heart surgeries. It wasn't the news we wanted.
The hope was that her 2nd surgery would happen after puberty - approximately age 16, once she was done growing - once her heart stopped growing. Unfortunately, her latest ECHO, performed in the Spring of '16, revealed that surgery will be in the next 2-3 years, likely by age 11. Her PVR is now considered "severe". Once surgery # 2 takes place, it sets in motion additional heart surgeries down the road, with her 3rd likely occurring in her 20's or early 30's. The total number of surgeries she'll need over the course of her life is unknown.
In the Spring of '17 she will undergo her 1st MRI, which will reveal in great detail how her heart is doing. It will give a much better idea of when surgery # 2 will happen.
Once again, I find myself waiting. I'm a planner, a detail orientated person. Yet here I am, simply waiting. The Lord has taught me and continues to teach me to cast all my cares upon HIM and WAIT. It's hard - let alone on days that bring back heaps of memories and emotions.
But on this day, on 12/2/16, I will cling to the knowledge that God sees the entire picture. That his hand is painting a masterpiece for Savannah's life and this is just another day in that process. On 12/2/08, he allowed her heart to be touched by human hands. Her heart stopped beating for many hours and then restated.
Surgery # 2 is in the works, but the details are unknown. I will live and laugh and love and cry and play and create and explore with Savannah NOW. We have today and whatever the tomorrow's bring, they bring. God is all powerful and I don't need to carry the burdens of tomorrow today - He has them - He's always had them and He always will.