1,620 miles is the round trip distance from our home to CenturyLink Field in Seattle, Washington, also known as home field of the Seattle Seahawks. Yes, 1,620 miles is a long way and I should know - I just drove it in August with my oldest son.
Why Seattle? Why a road trip with just my red-headed wild thing? Two words - Taylor Swift. We had the privilege of attending her 1989 Concert Tour...for free...and the cherry on top - Dylan got to MEET her. You could say my nearly 15 year old son who has every. single. song. memorized was in heaven.
How did this happen? Well, my sister-in-law is in the radio biz and after a series of random events, Dylan was her "plus one" for the concert, backstage tour and meet and greet. Yes, my SIL rocks and this experience is forever etched in my memory and heart.
But this road trip was about more than just a concert or meeting Taylor. I didn't realize this at first, but by the time we returned home, I knew exactly what it was about. It was about genuine love. It was about my son with special needs becoming a teenager. It was about listening to God.
As I've already mentioned, Dylan loves Taylor. I got her CD for Christmas, but he hijacked it. He wants to blare her music in the car and we fight over an appropriate volume level...seriously, a mama of five can only handle Shake It Off at 7:30 in the morning at a particular volume as school drop off is in full swing!
This trip was about genuine love.
Dylan has no grasp on "stardom" or "fans" or "fame" or "fortune". He simply loves Taylor for her beautiful voice and says she's pretty. But here's the thing - his love for Taylor, the hug he gave her - it was no different than the love and affection that he has for his family and friends.
Let me explain. During this trip we visited close friends in Oregon. On our way home, we met up with them at an amusement park. As we pulled into the parking lot, Dylan spotted them. I barely had the engine off and he was out of the car, running towards them with arms open wide and shouting hello. As I watched his reaction to seeing them, it was no different than his reaction to Taylor. Our friends even said, "Wow, we feel as famous as Taylor!"...and in Dylan's eye's, they were.
This trip was about my son becoming a teenager.
As we drove home, I felt a bit of guilt. Not just anyone meets Taylor. And, in all honesty, attending her concert and sitting in the seats we had sat in was beyond our financial means. We are a family of seven, after all, and every penny has a place in our budget! Yes, my SIL is in the "biz", but still, it was surreal.
In the midst of my thoughts of feeling guilt, the Lord reminded me of a blog I had written years before. It was entitled "Grieving Dylan" . In it, I share that I once thought grieving "Dylan" would be done in "one shot", but that has not been the case. For me, it has been a life long process and it tends to catch me off guard - it takes my breath away. Honestly, middle school has brought about a fair amount of grief - his experience has not been bad, but it has certainly been different than the "average" 12-15 year old.
When your child enters middle school and then moves onto high school, memories are made. These memories - the fun, the bad, the silly, the stupid, the life changing - remain with them forever. There will be a day when your child will reminisce about these memories. They will laugh, they will cry, they will think - and likely express - "What was I thinking?!"..."Mom, Dad - you put up with a lot from me!"..."Wow, that teacher was awesome"..."Ugh, what on earth was I wearing?!". That will not be the case for Dylan. Yes, Dylan has memories. Yes, he remembers things. But for him to sit back, laugh and joke about them doesn't happen in the traditional sense. And he certainly doesn't share with us - his parents - the way his siblings do.
So what does Dylan take away for his childhood? His teens years? I've learned that my boy has "moments". Rob and I have these "moments" alongside him. There is SO much my boy has not experienced in middle school and I grieve that. I realized that this concert and this road trip were one of those "moments". My guilt was gone. For the thousand memories I don't get with him, or that he has on his own but can not express, he has THIS MOMENT AND IT IS GRAND.
This trip was about listening to God.
In 2010, I started blogging and did so regularly for sometime. Yet life gets busy and evolves. I reached a point where I had to step back. Although I stopped actively blogging, my mind is always writing.
I've been battling whether or not I should write. There are blogs here, there and everywhere. What could I possibly have to share or say that wasn't already being blogged about? What is important, if anything, about the sentences being formed within my head? Honestly, I don't have the answer to that. What I do know is that it's been over five years since I've written. Our family has grown and changed. I was re-reading some of my original blogs and realized there are "sequels" to many of them.
Through this trip, God revealed that my writing must continue. I don't why, I just know that it must. As I've thought about writing, I've also realized my writing will not necessarily be specific to special needs or Down syndrome. It will be about the life of our family and what the Lord is teaching us - me, my husband, our marriage, our children, our life in general - I can't imagine just writing about one exclusive subject, as it's all intertwined and one doesn't function without the other.
Read if you like, no offense if you don't!
